When is a Mountain Not a Mountain or... Real or Bullshit Part 8

Oh man! The title of Part 7 still makes me chuckle... Ha... Phew... Top of my game there folks... and you witnessed it! Lucky dogs! It's all down hill from there... But enjoy today's post!

I think I need to figure out a new name for us! I like Disney Dorks... But after 7 posts of calling you Dorks, the word has lost all meaning! Any ideas?

It's Penultimate Post Day Eve! My favorite holiday that I just made up fpr this occasion! Let me check the calendar here... Ahhh, yeah, you don't have to go into work today, there IS mail delivery and trash pick up will be on it's normal schedule but all buses will be on their Sunday schedules

Where is the list?? Here it is!

#36 The pavement between the different "worlds" in the Disney parks changes suddenly. These "sensory tickles" startle you and make you look up and around, realizing that your surroundings have changed.

Seriously.

What have I gotten myself into?

That would totally explain why I am constantly hearing people GASP! when they cross into New Orleans Square. Startle? Ha! Who wrote this?

Yes the ground between lands changes. It is a wonderful touch! Here is an article about the ground at Magic Kingdom. It's pretty interesting.

TRUE... although...the term "sensory tickles" kinda creeps me out.

#37 The skull on the headboard of Disneyland's Pirates of the Caribbean is a real skull.

The story goes like this. When Imagineers were building Pirates they were disappointed with the way the artificial skeletons were looking so they put a call into UCLA Medical School to get some cadaver skeletons. Somewhere along the line most of the real bones were switched out. The only real bones that are left are the skull and crossbones on the wall in the Captain's Quarters scene. There is some debate about this. Some sources site that there were real human remains on the ride but were ALL given back ti have a proper burial. The majority of people do seem to agree that the set behind the Captain is still real. 

Even the CM's seem to agree. 

The rest of the debate about the skull has to do with the moral question of should Disneyland keep the remains of a human being on the ride or give them a proper burial. For me, there is no question. In fact, when I die(as if I could) I WANT my bones on Pirates... What do you guys think? Does Disney have a moral obligation to return these bones? Leave a comment with your opinion... even if it is wrong!

TRUE

#38 If it were an actual mountain, Space Mountain would be the third tallest mountain in Florida.

This shit is pretty funny!

I know Florida is pretty flat... The highest mountain in Florida is Sugarloaf Mountain at 312 feet, followed by Iron Mountain at 295 feet and Sandy Mountain at 270.... Then Space Mountain at 180 feet... But that is just you take into consideration that those "peaks" in Florida ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT HAVE "MOUNTAIN" IN THE NAME!! There is literally a metric fuck ton of "Hill"s that are higher than elevation than Space Mountain... Are they trying to get technical on ME?? Dicks. This can't be right... back to the library! That's where I do all my research! "Library" means sitting in front of the TV in my living room, right?

Shoot! It's not even the tallest mountain at Walt Disney World! Expedition Everest is 199 feet(one more foot and they would have had to put a red flashing light on top) above ground level.

Busted? I think so... Wait!!! Hold the phone! Let's take into consideration that most of the WDW resort is 80-90 feet above sea level... That would bring Space Mountain up to... carry the one, divide the demoniator, subtract the sum... move the decimal point... okay... between 260 and 270 feet above sea level! Okay! Let's check the chart! Nope! Still like the 16th tallest...

You wanna know what the shitty thing about this whole thing... Not even sure if the numbers are correct. It was super easy to find height requirements for Space Mountain... Ride height? No problem. Actual height of the peaks? Not so easy. You know what "mountain" peak height information was easy to find?? DISNEYLANDS!!

FALSE 

#39 Steve Martin worked at Disneyland between the time he was 10 and 18, among other things as, a magician.

Yes. That was before the cocaine...

TRUE

#40 The Tinkerbelle that flies across the sky during the fireworks show is sometimes played by a man.

Who? I don't know who that is. What park is that at? OH! You mean Tinker Bell! Ah, I get it now. Maybe they are talking about Tink from Disneyland Paris? Is that how they spell her name? I will look into that, because this "silly thing" is definitely on the horrible side...

Back to it. 

TINKER BELL ISN'T A FACE CHARACTER! Did we know this already? I didn't. Gives some credence to the "fact"... 

Okay. Here is what I have found out... Tinker Bell who flies from the Matterhorn to the Castle is played by a woman... or a man... but definitely ALWAYS a woman... and sometimes a man. Has to be a woman! Gotta fit in the harness and all... and has to be no taller than 5'2"... Although, occasionally.... it's played by a six foot tall dude... Can't be a woman! Gotta carry battery packs!  No, no, you are all wrong! Tinkerbell is played by a drone!(That's not even a joke! In the eighties, it almost was!)

I am really no further on in figuring this out than when I started this post, what seems like, ten years ago... Everyone claims to have spoken with a CM. Someone even claimed to have photographic proof that flying Tink was female and posted a picture of Tinkerbell... from a parade. Geesh!

Hard facts that seem pretty agreed upon? The stuntwoman... OR man! Ahhh, stunt... person? Yeah. Let's go with that... The stuntperson who makes the flight gets paid $650 for it. Sign me the fuck up! OH! And when I die in a horrible firework induced crash into the ground, Pirates gets my bones! Boom! Call back! That's a plan!

What interested me most in my research was... how stupid some people really are... But beyond that, was the story of the first flying Tinker Bell, Tiny Kline. Born in 1981... errrr!(that's a cars brakes sound... make it in your head... go ahead, I'll wait) Sorry, born in 1891, Hungarian born, Helen Deustch moved to the United States with a dance troupe when she was 14.  She began working for Barnum and Bailey Circus under the name Tiny Duchee, where she met her husband, an equestrian trick rider named Otto. When he passed during a stunt Tiny took over for him. In 1933 she performed her "slide of death" trick, sliding across a wire in Times Square by her teeth!


In 1958 Disney approached Tiny to see if she would be willing to dress up like Tinker Bell and slide down the Hollywood Bowl a concert that Walt was sponsoring. Three years later when Tinker was added to the fireworks show, she was approached again and agreed to continue to perform the flying stunt. She started working at Disneyland at the age of 71(!!) and continued until her health forced her to retire in 1964. They had no way of stopping her at the time so when she got to the end of the line, two burly Disney Cast Members were waiting... with a full sized mattress for her to crash into... Some things never change! As recent as 2011, guests who are watching the fireworks between Village Haus and Casey Jr. have seen Tink fly into a mattress!

What a life Tiny Kline had! There are sources that say that the job of Tinker Bell was passed on to Tiny's daughter and then her grand daughter but I could find no confirmation of that.

"Tinkerbelle: is NOT how they spell her name in Disneyland Paris... Stupids.

And speaking of stupid! I always thought her name was Tinkerbell, like Cher or Ke$ha... But it's actually Tinker Bell, Or Miss Bell if you're nasty...

Have we decided on an answer yet? I am leaning toward true, because it just makes sense...

TRUE

Did we make it through?

 I think I want to to a list of my own totally made up facts...

Today we went 4-1. Barely... more like 4ish... grand total.... badabadabada(that's a drum roll. God! Do I have to hold your hand through EVERYTHING?) 30-8-2! ONLY 10 MORE TO GO!!

Tomorrow... Pheeeew... I am going to try to get both posts done because FSL and I are probably going to the parks Thursday... Whoops. That was supposed to be internal monologue. Luckily the last ten are pretty lame, I should be able to half ass my way through them pretty quickly... INTERNAL Jumba! INTERNAL...er, I mean give them my best effort!

Dtay Snorky! I wanted to change it up a bit and got completely uncreative... Sorry(no I'm not*wink*)

-Jumba

P.S. Jumba's Totally Not Made Up and Scientifically Proven Facts About Disneyland
1. There are ALWAYS 47 ducks on the property, never more and never less... and if you see two ducks flying after each other you are required by law to yell out "DUCK RAAAACE!" That last part I made up because I really want to get this DUCK RAAAACE thing to be a thing.
2. Gibson Girl Ice Cream Parlor was named after Kirk Gibson's daughter.
3. Space Mountain isn't really a rollercoaster just two guys to shake the car and some fans.
4. Starting in 2016 you will need an actual Drivers License to ride Autopia
5. The real Matterhorn in the Alps also has a rollercoaster going through it.

P.P.S. The pictures today come courtesy of FSL's Instagram

Ali is the Garnish Character Queen... That's KINDA like a celebrity

...

 Also, that "characters" name is Lemony Smokeit...