Mount St. Yell'ns... or, The Only Good Thing From The 80's

Howdy Dorks!

Hey, it is almost your last chance to follow me by email, and get entered into the contest to win Lots To Do In Line: Disneyland. It is a great way to pass the time while you are waiting in those long summer queues.

Heading to the parks in a couple of days. I will try to take a couple awesome pictures... a few good pictures and a crap ton of mediocre pictures.

When I finished the guide to Critter Country, I left out the biggest and most fun part, Splash Mountain-tian-tian-ian-ian-an-an-n-n!(That last part was echoes, so if you didn't get that before, go back and re-read it like you are the announcer of a monster truck rally that is rolling in to town Sunday SUNDAY SUNDAY and seats are only TEN DOLLARS!)

In 1983 Imagineer Tony Baxter was sitting traffic on the Santa Anna Freeway. Yep, I said '83, so he was probably looking at his Swatch Watch wishing traffic was moving faster so he could stop at the store and pick up some Pac-Man Cereal and a Cabbage Patch Kid then get home and try to figure out his Rubix Cube. All around him cars with Baby On Board signs are bumper to bumper. Then brilliance struck. He reached into his parachute pants for his pad of paper.

See, Bear Country had horrible attendance. That part of the park was practically a barren wasteland(I may be overstating that a bit.) The Chairman of Disney Theme Parks, Dick Nunis was hoping for a log flume ride. He was facing some opposition because most flume rides at other amusement parks were a little... boring. And, The America Sings attraction that was built for the Bicentennial was also dealing with poor attendance.
Baxter put two and two... and two... together and came up with awesome!

I assume the phone call the next day went something like this.

"I totally came up with this gnarly idea that has me stoked to the max, dudes and dudettes! I was sitting in grodie traffic and I was all like gag me with a spoon, this traffic is bogus. If only we had a bodacious log ride that could cool off all the barneys in the park. I thought it would be totally awesome if we made in on Main Street... Psych! Take a chill pill dweebs. Fer sure, let's build it in Bear Country and use those rad characters from Song of the South! It will be, like, majorly trippendicular!"

Splash Mountain was born.

The articles I read all varied slightly in time line, so I will just pull a little from each and stitch together my own time line. 1983, the idea was born. The building of Splash went way over budget, luckily using the idea of using the audio-animatronic characters from America Sings made it feasible to get it done. With about 100 characters from the defunct attraction, Imagineers would only have to design the main characters from Song of the South in order to make it work. July 17, 1989 the ride opens to the public.

The story goes that Micheal Eisner brought his son in on a Saturday for a pitch meeting. His son loved the model and idea of Splash so much Eisner greenlit it right then and there with the caveat that there could be no reference to Uncle Remus on the ride, it is after all Critter Country... In your face Christopher Robin.

It was originally called Zip A Dee River Run and then it was The Song of the South Log Flume Ride, finally Eisner said, "It's a mountain and there is a big splash at the end. It's Splash Mountain"

The story takes bits and pieces from the stories in Song of the South and weaves them into an adventure where we follow Br'er Rabbit on a search for adventure while all the while being chased by Br'er Fox and Br'er Bear. In the end Br'er Rabbit gets caught by Br'er Fox in a family friendly version of the films Tar Baby scene(later it was turned white and called Glue Baby, on the ride Fox catches him in honey(hunny to the Pooh fans) but there is no reference to a Honey Baby). In the end, Br'er Rabbit tricks Fox into throwing him(and us) into the briar patch which is home for the rascally rabbit. Moral of the story... Best place to find adventure is in your own back yard...

On to the ride! I tried to take pictures of each section of the ride, but since you are moving quickly and in the dark in some places... some of the pictures didn't pass my stringent quality standards!

Genius Fun Fact: Splash Mountain's real name is Chickapin Hill

The queue starts about 10 feet from the Haunted Mansion exit. It winds into Critter Country past a great view of the final drop into the brair patch. Oh wait! I have a GIF of that! I may have already used it, but I am throwing it up there again!

They are totally screaming right now

I think it's time for less talking and more pictures! Whoot!

The logs have room for six single file riders. FSL and I always try to sit in the back.The last seat has some extra room as well as a place to put your feet, the perfect spot for an Evil Genius. Here is a piece of info for you. if heavier riders are in the front, the nose rides low and people get soaked. Heavier riders in the back you tend to stay more dry.

As you are riding through, you will pass in front of the last drop on your way to the sawmill section. If a log is making the drop a water cannon will shoot water over the briar patch and give you an early drenching(I will be posting a picture of this soon).

Watching other suckers take the first drop

People dropping the final drop. Fun to watch them BUT if you take your ride at night don't watch! The flashes from the cameras will blind you... permanently! I get sucked into it every time... I am like... super blind now!

The snoring bear sound is a nod to Bear Country. Rufus the Snoring who used to run the slide show at the Country Bear Jamboree. His cave was up on a hill with a sign that said Sleeping Bear - Quiet and you could hear him snoring. Since Splash Mountain is built right where his cave was, they left him in.

This is the climb to the final drop! The drop is about 50 feet at 40 mph. The "splash" at the end is mostly from jets that shoot water at you. Just after the drop your log actually enters the Rivers of America before you make a right turn. The turn is what gets you. water floods in over the side of the log. If you are in the very back seat all the water collects on your left leg and butt cheek. Genius Tip: scoot to the right to avoid some of the wave, and if you are in the very back... Lift your butt off the seat!

 Splash has a smidge over 100 animatronic animals singing and dancing as you cruise by.

The Zip-a-Dee Lady

Foiled again!

Br'er Rabbit in his Laughing Place

Penny smashers!

Br'er Bear, Br'er Fox and Br'er Rabbit

This is a long post. I tried to avoid describing every aspect of the ride because we would be here for ever...  I left out a lot... but that is on purpose. I want you to discover some of the magic on your own. Haha!

Fun fact: At 87 feet, Splash Mountain is the tallest of the Mountains at Disneyland. The Matterhorn, the Parks signature mountain, is only 80 feet tall. 

That fun fact it also a lie! Thanks to The Disney Project's keen eye I need to make a correction. The Matterhorn is a perfect 1/100th scale version of the real Matterhorn which is roughly 14,700 feet tall making the ride 147 feet tall. Let's just blame the error on whiskey...

The real Fun Fact should look like this...

FUN FACT: At 87 feet, Splash Mountain is the 4th tallest(I wasn't even close!) of the Mountains at Disneyland. The Matterhorn, the Parks signature mountain, is a 1/100th scale version of the real Matterhorn which is 14,700 feet tall. Space Mountians spires reach up to 118 feet coming in second and Big Thunder Mountain slides into third at 107 feet

Not so fun fact: Splash Mountain breaks down a lot!

Stay Dorky!

-J

P.S. I keep thinking of things I left out!

P.P.S. I will add more pictures soon...

P.P.P.S. The ride is about 10 minutes long

P.P.P.P.S. They say 12 cameras on the ride... They will yell at you if you screw around. Also, 120 sensors making sure the logs are not jamming...

Spoiler Alert! or... Where Did You Get That Wonderful Shirt

I am back Dorks! 

Two days at Disneyland for my "job" then three days in the Napa Valley being wined and dined for FSL's job...  It may sound like a nonstop party but it was exhausting! For real!

But, I am back now. Ready to give you all 75% of my attention... Well, maybe 65%.... 53%... Let's just call it as "As-much-as-you-are-going-to-get"%. 

So, pipe burst in the Lair and the living room floor turned into a sponge. Plumbers came out, need to repipe... No hot water for two weeks. FSL and I decided that we would probably need to take a shower before we went to Napa County so the only thing that made sense was to spent the night at the Resort. We have stayed at the Grand Californian and at the Disneyland Hotel, so we decided to switch it up a bit and we stayed at Paradise Pier.

We got to the park around lunch time. Hit up Cove Bar for some sliders and nachos, said Hey to Windsor and Ali and went into the park. Went on Little Mermaid, traded Vinyls at Off the Page and then went over to Disneyland.

We took a horse carriage to the Hub. First GIF! Rejoice!

You want another one? The Dude abides!

I gotta say. I know Disneyland is probably a really good gig for these horses, but they look sad. Kinda feel bad for the horses.

Look at this face! Adorable...

Despite what I read on MouseWait today, the Mark Twain was cruising around the Rivers of America like the majestic steed it is... Was that too much? Can a boat be a majestic steed?

Majestic

Steedy(I may have just made up that word)

We saw a little Rock-a-billy Haunted Mansion love connection happen. There was a solo rider ahead of us with a pompador and four inch cuffs on his jeans. On the exit ramp(which is the best foot massage in the park) this girl barrels past, taps the dude and says, "My friend wants to talk to you." We did what any awesome couple would do, hung around to take pictures. They chatted it up and them went looking for a pen. Obviously not readers of the blog because they would have known that I always have at least two pens in my go bag. So... their relationship is doomed.

Adorable, but lame because they don't read my blog.

We had heard that there was going to be a Mouse Wait "Meet Up" in DCA at 7. Ride Scream'n then drinks at Cove. So most of the first day was just killing time until we went to Cove Bar for the Meet Up... Come on, I hope you know me by now enough to know that really we were going to get to Cove early and set up shop to get a good view of the Mouse Waiters.. I would love to say that there would be no smack talking going on, but I am an Evil Genius, so, of course I would talk some shit... behind their backs... because I am gentleman. I have meet some MWers and they seem like good people, but as an entity, I just don't know if I have the patience to hang out with them. Oh! Let's play a game! It's called Guess the Vague Resemblance to a Celebrity - Cove Bar Edition.... Bum-bum-bum-buuuuuummmmm! That was my game show sound effect!

Fake celebrity number one!

Here is a hint: America's Next Top Model. What! You didn't watch that show? You are a liar...

Fake celebrity number two!

Hint: This person has No Strings Attached and if you don't guess right, he may say Bye, Bye, Bye!

That was fun.

The burning question on everyone's mind is probably. But what about the Meet Up? It didn't happen, so we had more Windsor cocktails and watched World of Color... and maybe talked about musicals with Bryan.

Paradise Pier was pretty cool! I was expecting to hear kids all night and have someone named Kronk(actually that would be pretty awesome) bring up our bags. The rooms were big and comfortable. The view was great!

That was the view! From... the hallway... Our view was not park side but it was still pretty good. You will have to take my word for it because I didn't take a picture. Best of all, the walk to the park is less than it is from the Disneyland Hotel! Oh! Also, they have an outside elevator! Bet you don't have a GIF from the inside. Of course I do!

You are welcome!

Got up early the next day and went scooped up some pins that were being released.

Hung around, watched the Jedi Training Academy show... It's lame until Darth Maul arrives... Err... Spoiler... Darth Maul is in it. So is Darth Vader! DAMN! I suck at this spoiler thing...

Ended the day meeting up with friends at Cove and cruising around Disneyland trying to get the Dumbo popcorn bucket then over to Radiator Springs. Hi Jaymie and Ashley!

I know the ending is abrupt! What do you want from me? I gave you GIFs, I gave you pictures, I gave you awesomness, I even gave you a hidden Mickey! Wait! Damn! Another spoiler... I will be giving you a hidden Mickey...

Hidden Mickey

My shadow!

Still working on my next "guide". It will be coming soon! It will either be on pin trading or New Orleans Square... I still need to do Splash Mountain too!

Stay Dorky!

-J

P.S. Ahhh, check this shit out... I also have a button or two... Available here!

 

P.P.S. Post your answers to the game! I will reveal the correct answers in the next post.

 

Rossco's Construction Kingdom

What's up Dorks! 

Rossco beat me to the punch and got a post ready before I could finish my mediocre post. In this one, you get a glimpse into the wild mind of Rossco SoleTrain. He is going to take you on a journey to see what HE would do if he had carte blanche spend and build whatever he wants. So, Hunny Bee's, make sure your lap bar is sticky stuck and enjoy the ride(I totally had to rock a Winnie the Pooh reference, because Ross loves it so much)! Rossco's Construction Kingdom or... Ross the Builder, Can He Build It? Yes He Can!

"Disneyland will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left in the world." -Walt Disney

  Hello again folks! Disneyland is a fascinating place. I try to always look at Disneyland from multiple angles. The angle of being a kid, the adult angle... But this post will be from the angle of me as a Disneyland Imagineer. One who is about to spend billions of Disney's money on rides and improvements to both DL and DCA...because I give a shit and I want to see cool stuff come to life!

  I love to research Disney projects that never materialized. There have been thousands of attraction ideas that get chopped. Disney has scrapped ideas for new lands, rides, parades, stage shows...trains...food...restrooms...you name it and Imagineers have thrown it in the trash sometimes for the better (usually). Great shit gets canned for various reasons... mostly, though, because a certain project would cost a ton of cash ;) Other projects are trashed because they simply don't fit (big footprint) or because they don't fit a theme for any specific land. Although recently there has been major and awesome improvements made to both the DL and DCA parks, the next phase of MAJOR construction is always right around the corner... Let's hope.

  Some of this post consists of current rumors floating on several different blogs, some of it is about old rides that were in development at some point and the rest is just the random ideas rattling around in my brain...80% of the day. Okay....Lets start pretending and spending!

Stark Expo replaces Innovations
Tron Light Cycle PeopleMover
and Tomorrowland is gutted

 Tomorrowland is beyond... Beyond in terms of needing to get its shit together. I would start with Marvel and the Stark Expo to take over in a big way. Yeah, I read the rumors of the 3rd gate Marvel park... but fuck that! I'd rather see a Star Wars park but ANYHOOO... Tomorrowland redo - Innovations gets demolished for the Stark Expo. Pizza Port bites the dust, Captain E.O. theater (look at pic above...astrophysics 4d theater...pimp shit),  a Tron Light Cycle PeopleMover is added and the Nemo Subs (although not my favorite) get to stay - Dory kicks ass. Autotopia will be totally new. The Stark Expo will be a ride occupying a ton of space so Autotopia will have to move back towards Small World and into Motor Boat Cruise. It may be a tad shorter but a refurbished and new (electric or floating car...ooooh) version of Autopia would be a fantastic tribute to the old, while being a fun (and new) attraction for everyone... Future cars, next to Tony Stark, next to Tron = Party! Tomorrowland has never kicked so much ass.

 Western River Expedition finds a home in Frontierland

pic lifted from disneylandandmore.blogspot.com

  The Western River Expedition was a water ride that was originally going into Walt Disney World but the Floridian people wanted some Pirate action instead. Now that I'm in charge of spending the money at DL, this ride is finally going to happen and it is going to be located right here. I don't give a shit if elements of this ride have been used for other attractions. It is perfect (even if it includes a Johnny Depp Tonto animatronic figure) and will be the top priority when Thunder Mountain is wrapped up... Well that, and bringing back the Country Bear Jamboree. 

  Here is a video from the last D23 convention. Tony Baxter and Josh Shipley present some history and do a run through of what the ride would be like...

 

this is already one of my all time favorite rides.

Main Street U.S.A finally gets the expansion 

do you like my fancy graphic ;0)

yanked from micechat.com

  After years and years of planning, Main Street finally gets an alley to ease congestion from stupid strollers, the parades and the random filming that takes place on the street. This extension will run behind Main Street (Tomorrowland side) entering to the right of town square next to the Mad Hatter and exiting by the first aid station to the right of the Tomorrowland entrance. also the cross street would connect to the ally. This area will provide back doors to the current Main Street stores plus a few other little shops on the opposite side. In addition an awesome second story viewing area for the fireworks will be added....and as you would expect this will cost some cash to reserve your seats. But at least drinks and deserts will be included. You will enter this private viewing area through the new Starbucks Market House. Placing this second story viewing area at the end of the extension will also keep the crowds from not parking there asses in the alley like people do on Main Street. This is an easy fix for a variety of problems facing Main Street and will be a welcome addition to the park from the casual visitor to the snarky a-holes (like me).

Chip 'n Dale move to Critter Country   

yay! bad photoshopping!

  Smashed between Splash Mountain and Poo(p) I'm making room for another dark ride that will be based on a Chip and Dale adventure!!! Yes they have a tree house in Toon Town but it is time for them to move to where they really belong. Putting in this attraction would give people a reason to hang out in the land a little longer after going on Splash. This is a pretty area of the park. It should have one more attraction even though space is limited over here (so we build it high)...Now DL has made room for the little guys to collect acorns!...sorry rescue ranger fans, no detective agency type shit this time. Below is a video of an old Donald Duck cartoon. A ride kinda-sorta themed around something like this would be a great look for Critter Country... Fast forward a little past the 3:45 mark into the video to get a feel for what the ride could look like...trying to drive the point across that this wouldn't be the adventure...

  Some of these rides and attractions will eventually happen at DL but to what capacity is still up in the air. I'm assuming the alley behind Main Street and a Tomorrowland gut job are in order first but as The Pesk has reminded me - Disneyland will keep some shit you wouldn't think they would...and there is evidence of that all over the park ... yes that is a reference to my last post ;) see what I did there. I need a part two for this post and for that I'm turning my head to the California Adventure park. As you can imagine...the next one is gonna be an even wilder ride.

Thanks for reading and see ya real soon!

-Rossco

 

Nothing Important or I Haven't Forgotten About You.

I really nothing important to share with you right now. We just got back from two days in the park and tomorrow we head up to Napa for a work trip. Actually I do have some cool pictures, but they will have to wait until we get back om Sunday. Can ya wait that long? On second glance I my pictures aren't that good...

The Evil Genius Lair burst a pipe(certainly not because of one of my experiments!) so we have no hot water until next Wednesday while they repipe the house.

The Mark Twain is back on the water! So there's that...

I haven't forgotten about you... I will have a better update in a couple of days! Here is a sneak peak...

Did you see it? It was awesome!

Stay Dorky! And check back in a few days!

-J

Long Lost Friends or New Found Enemies

What is up Dorks? Trying to sound a little more... formal. No apostrophes! They are for lazy people! I am ANYTHING but lazy(Stop laughing Mom and Dad)!

This post is going to be down right chocked  full of GIFS! Prepare Thy Selves!

FSL and I headed to the parks for a day of fun. We wanted to take part in Long Lost Friends and check out the window dedicated to Buzz Price, the adventures only BEGAN there!

Earl of Sandwich for lunch. FSL had an Original and I had the Earls Club with no tomatoes(the devil food) but that is neither here not there.

This week for Limited Time Magic was Long Lost Friends. Characters that have mot been seen in years were set up in Big Thunder Ranch Jamboree. The set up was really well done. There were five stations with characters set up and every half hour they switched with five other groups. At each station they had a queue, a Photopass photographer and a cast member wrangler. The character interaction was AMAZING. The characters were really involved and had fun with each group. At the Robin Hood station, whenever someone wanted to take a picture with Robin, King John and Sheriff of Nottingham would stick their hands- err... paws in front of the photographer.

They did not allow autographs but they did pass out autograph cards with each of the characters. Great collectables.

Robin Hood, random lady, Friar Tuck, Prince John, that guy, and Sheriff of Nottingham.

 Clopin, Esmeralda, and a super creepy Frollo... SUPER creepy.

 Scrooge McDuck and Ludwig Von Drake from Ducktails(woo-oo!).

  Mushu and Ping a.k.a. Mulan.

Merryweather from Sleeping Beauty, totally hogging the camera from Flora and Fauna.

 Govenor Ratcliffe, John Smith, Poca-man-a-mus and Meeko.

Photo courtesy of FSL

Wendy, Peter Pan, Smee and Captain Crunch... err, FSL just corrected me... Captain Hook

Photo courtesy of FSL

Three Little Pigs, Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig and Practical Pig... And The Big Bad Wolf on the bottom.

Photo courtesy of FSL

Tarzan characters Jane and Terk were also there but I did not bother to take a picture, because... Well, I just do not care that much.

STITCH!

We waited to get out picture taken with Lilo and Stitch and they were great. This handsome devil had a lanyard of just Stitch pins, but none of Lilo. After they got their picture taken Lilo grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the Jamboree Pin cart and pointed at a pin of hers. After the incredibly charismatic guy got the pin Lilo and Stitch left their station to help him put the new pin on. What a lucky and awesome guy. I bet he would write the best Disney blog.

Photo courtesy of FSL

was a really cool event.

The window dedication for Buzz Price was the day before and we went looking for the window. It was not hard to find because FSL is the World's Greatest Detective annnnd there were lots of pictures during the dedication.

After that we went to Cove Bar to have some dinner and say Hi to the Cove Bar Crew(I totally just came up with the worst nickname in history... Wait! I can make it worse the Cove Bar Krew. Boom!) FSL had the Tri-Tip Sliders and I had the Fish Tacos. Windsor made us some new cocktails. I could totally create a recipe book with her drinks in it.

Photo courtesy of FSL

I do not know what this drink is called but it is coffee, Balieys, Frangelico, Maker's Mark whipped cream and chocolate sauce... Then James dumped the rest of the coffee and Windsor brought hot chocolate to refill. I hate coffee but it was amazing! Oh! And yes, that is a plate of strawberries and chocolate.

We watched World of Color. GIFS? You got it!

Feast for the god damned eyes! 

When we were leaving, we waited at Tram Platform 9 3/4s and this is what we saw... Magical.

The day was so awesome that we did it again the next day. 

Met some new friends, like the Pink Drink Guys, Antonio and Shachi, Tron guy, Web developer and their friends Other Couple.

Errr! Full stop! I almost forgot! if you go to cove bar and have Windsor, have her make you a special drink then take a picture of it and Instagram it with the hashtag #windsoristhebest. Pink Drink Guys will be so happy.

Got some more pictures and updated the Critter Country post! Check it out!

That's is it for now. I will be working on some more guides and Rossco is working on another post! Whoot!

Stay Dorky!

-J

P.S. It is really hard not using apostrophes... I think I will become lazy... WAY easier. 

P.P.S. I won a twitter contest from jasonindisney... My prize was a complete set of Non Winner tickets from the 35th Anniversary Dream Machine!