The Life and Times of Thor... Heyerdahl... Or Just Kidding! Thor Odinson(At Least I Assume That's His Last Name)

Hey Dorks!

Dorks?

Hello-lo-lo-o?

Is there anyone here-ere-ere-re?(That's the echo... tryin' to build a mood here people!)

It's been a long time(stupid real job), but I am back  now with a massive, ground breaking, monumental, legendary... wait for it...dary... new post! REJOICE! WHOOT! YAY!

As Evil Geniusy as I am, sometimes I get overwhelmed with trying to bring you the best posts possible. It got to the point where I just wanted it longer and longer. Can I get a "That's what she said!"? FSL(Future Supreme Leader a.k.a My wife) just informed me, no we can't get one and stop being gross... So I am bring it back to where it all started and make them short, sarcastic and... ahh... some other S word, because I love alliteration... Sassy! Let's go with sassy.

Thank you to everyone who has held on during the drought and followed me on Facebook. As a thank you I am going to run two contests... AT THE SAME TIME! More on those hidden throughout the post just so you'll read everything!

This year Disneyland has been doing some Annual Passholder events like extended hours, guest lectures, previews of new attractions and tickets to special events. Two Sundays ago we were lucky enough to get an early viewing of the Thor attraction Treasures of Asgard at Innoventions and a REAL advanced screening of Thor Dark World. BOOM FACE! If you needed one more reason to get an Annual Pass... there it is.

The catch was we had to get there at park opening because there were only 500 wristbands handed out per day. There are two things I hate. 1)Everything and 2)having to be somewhere at a certain time for a limited amount of spaces for something.

We got to the gate about about eight o'clock, lines weren't too long so I was hopeful it wouldn't be too crowded. It didn't last long.

Secretly I was judging everyone trying to figure out if they were the Schmo family from Slowville South Dakota on their vacation or Passholders who were also there for one of the coveted wristbands. Family with a stroller? They are going to Peter Pan, no worries. Girl dressed up like Tony Stark complete with painted on facial hair and wearing a Captain America sweatshirt? She would be some competition.

Got through the gate and immediatly headed over to Tommorrowland to wait some more. Here is a fun tid bit on info about me... I am a fast walker... my normal walking speed is what other people would consider a brisk walk(yeah, totally bragging). My job was to get a primo position for the rope drop and then walk quickly and efficiently to Innoventions to wait in line some more. We were meeting our friends Joseph and Judy(the only reason I like them is because their names are alliterative, if they were named Joseph and Susan... wouldn't like them as much). Joseph walks tragically slow, so were were ahead of them.

This was my view of Tomorrowland!

This was Joseph's...

Did you see me?

Am I that tall? Also, am I that bald? I am like a light house... in case of emergency follow the giant bald beacon of hope, he will guide you to safety!

Rope drop! Outta my way bitches!

Mad dash! Jerks running through the park. I reminded them that they should walk... not met with the best reception. Some giant of a woman tried to run through FSL and received an elbow to the boob for her efforts! There are rules people! I worked with kids for 15 years, if I were a CM I would have made them all go back and try it again...

More waiting.

Finally got our wristbands with a ten to eleven o'clock window to come back and see the Treasures of Asgard exhibit.Got there at 10:15 and waited some more. Evough talk! Let's see some pictures!

Photo courtesy of FSL

Photo courtesy of FSL

Photo courtesy of FSL

Photo courtesy of FSL

Photo courtesy of FSL

Photo courtesy of FSL

Photo courtesy of FSL

Photo courtesy of FSL

Photo courtesy of FSL

Photo courtesy of FSL

Yeah! I am a freaking Treasure of Asgard!

Awesome treasures right? Well, just when you think, "Geez, there is a lot of people stuffed into this small room" you hear an announcement that Odin has allowed the Bifrost to go to these exact coordinates! Ohhh! traveling to a different realm? I am in! When the doors open...

Could it be??

THOR!!

What a nice dude! He even gives one unworthy soul a chance to try to pick up Mjolnir!

THOR!!!

The screening of the movie was later in the afternoon. Lines and waiting, yadda, yadda. After turning over our phones and getting scanned with a metal detector we found seats with 496 other people and settled in to be the second group EVER to see Thor Dark World.

Contest number one!(see how I slipped that in?) That's what he said! Nope, just got the look from FSL.
Awesome paracord Mjolnir! Hand made by me! And I will throw in a Disneyland map wallet just because I am so god damned amazing!

To enter like us on Facebook! If you are already following us, congrats on being a great human being, and just leave an "Add Me" to the Contest Number Awesome post! Winner chosen Thanksgiving Day!

Pictures! Okay!

Ahh, I think I can handle the installation of AAA batteries

Glow cubes

Flowers!

Banana on stairs at Disneyland

 Oh, you wanted pictures of the movie? Piracy is not a victimless crime people!

The movie was fantastic! Better than the first. It was action packed and filled with humor... and tears, but without the tears. Darcy? Hilarious. Thor? Heroic and according to the collective gasp and swoon when he came on screen, apparently pretty hot... Loki? Amazing! Odin? Still has one eye.

After the movie? Cove Bar! A-Doy! Cove Bar Social Club is growing by leaps and bounds. We gained a new member that day. Welcome Robert and Happy Birthday! Follow us on Facebook! Here are some pics!

Loki Drink! Made by Windsor!

Don't ask!

I think that about sums it up... OR DOES IT?!?

Here is some pictorial fun of what has been happening at the parks and stuff!

Dia de Los Muertos

Me and Matt Mira(from the Nerdist Poscast) on my birthday

Oh, by the way became and Honorary Citizen!

Boom! That's it for now... OR IS IT?!?

Contest Number 2! I have been making Disney inspired paracord bracelets. The winner gets their choice made to order! To enter this one... Simply share the blog on any social media outlet! Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pintrest(is that a thing?) Tumblr, whatever... then leave a comment on the Facebook page(going for the hard sell) and then wait and cross your fingers that you win. Lucky Dork will be picked on Thanksgiving Day, so you have something to be thankful for...

Minnie, Evil Queen, Maleficent, Donald Duck, Snow White, Red Queen, Goofy, Ariel, Sully

, Ursula, Mike

Marvel... Black Widow

Merida

There are more... Some Marvel ones... I will post them on the Facebook page... and yes, if you don't win, you most definitely can buy one at my etsy store!

Okay... I think I am done... OR AM I?!?

Yep!

Stay Dorky!

-Jumba

P.S. No P.S. this time...

P.P.S. WAIT! Friend of the blog, Brian Klemm(don't know if he really is a friend of the blog, but I met him a couple of times and comment on his Facebook... so... you know... We're like besties or whatever) guitarist of the ska band Suburban Legends has a new Disney cover album out! It is amazing! I suggest that if you like cool things, or love puppies, or support the troops, that you seriously consider buying... Need a link? No prob! The MP3 album is only $2.99!!

Rossco's Guide to the Current Rumored to be Green Lit Disneyland Projects!

What's up Dorks? 

Hey! I am still alive! Whaaa?? I know, I am as shocked as you are. I have a new job that really takes time away from me finishing my blogs... or starting them... But fear not! we will be ending the year with a bang!(used a little onomatopoeia for you guys... you are welcome!) on our push to 10,000 page views! 

Let's begin!

Rossco Soultrain is going to kick off our Comback Tour with another round of Rossifers Rumors or as I like to call it What the Hell Have You Been Smoking and Where Did the Dog Go?

And, rest easy Dorks... I will probably be commenting my way through his post... You can tell it's me because the writing gets hilarious-er, charming-er and handsome-r... that, and it's in red italics.

  Hello again Dorks!!! Its been a minute since my last post and even longer since my last DL trip but I'm back! Presenting you with a guide to all of the DL projects that will soon be announced and then constructed within the next few months!!!(wink, wink) but most of them built within the next 5 years.
  At the last D23 event in August, Disney Parks did not show up with announcements regarding ANY future projects. The timetable just didn't work out for Imagineers to get a presentation together or they hadn't fully got the go ahead from Corporate. That reeeeeaaaaallly sucked ass BUT they did give the guests some hints of some of the new shit. The Hat Box Ghost was at the Journey into Imagineering booth along with the Star Wars "Orange Harvest" crates which were a reference to a WDW Star Wars land and also some "(f)artifacts" from the planet Pandora for the AvatarLand...woooooow.

Here is the Hat Box Ghost from the Imagineering Booth... I was there! Muhaha! Oh that's right, I still owe you a post!

That is some WDW shit and I gotta get to the DL stuff! So without any further explanations or chickenshitbullshit here is a brief rundown of a bunch of DL projects that are happening soon!

Fantasyland Dark Ride Refurbs!!!!

  

  DL turns 60 in 2015. What a better way to celebrate the birthday than with a bunch sweet redone dark rides in Fantasyland!!!! Oh man. SOooooo looking forward to seeing all the new effects, track systems and new technology they will throw at these rides! What Imagineering can do with this update has the potential to be HUGE. They should finally give Snow White a better ending, cause right now... it's kinda abrupt. I hope they do it right and devote a ton of cash and time to one of the coolest lands at the park. Oh yeah the Alice in Wonderland ride is finally getting makeover of the outside tracks that look like shit. The word is that project starts early next year!

Star Wars in Tomorrowland...and Thor too.

   A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...and coming to Tomorrowland...weird but not. More scenes will be added to Star Tours and other Star Wars attractions are in the works. Captain EO is getting chopped and soon.(FINALLY!) They were ready and announced a date to shut it down but decided to wait until they have the final okay to get a new Star Wars show put in and also an interactive Cantina. Hopefully this will crush the Pizza Port. A Thor installation is also being added to Innovations but other than that I'm afraid to say I think the Innovations building is staying in its current state for a bit longer. Bummer. Yay! In your face Ross! Personally, I like that Innoventions is staying... It reminds me of better times, also I don't think the footprint is big enough to support another attraction with out affecting Autopia.

Finally The Hat Box Ghost Returns.

  Yes this is finally the year this guy makes his way back to the Haunted Mansion. After the Nightmare Before Christmas overlay gets taken from down next year this guy is coming back along with some a bunch of other cool new stuff. This is a total go, otherwise Imagineering were being a bunch of dicks at D23. The elevator for the NBC overlay has been updated with a SWEET ASS projection of Jack Skellington. I think that technology would be a great addition to the Haunted Mansion and look forward to seeing what they can do with it!

Club 33 Expansion

 Dark blue is the old. Light blue is the expansion. Court of Angels is toast. Well, toast for us poor folks. Club 33 will receive a new kitchen, a new Jazz Lounge (based off The Princess and the Frog) and I would assume the club will have a sweet Fantasmic viewing area too. So if you are really really lucky or rich as fuck you can go back to the Court and hang!!!! Also, read this... again...

  At the previous D23 in 2011 it was announced that a "Special Offerings" dining experience was to be happening at the Tahitian Terrace. Haven't heard shit since but I guess next year the offerings begin! For now I will keep stalking Aladdin outside of his lair. Creeper

  A Main Street back ally is also to begin construction next year and set to open in 2015. It will have a Victorian era theme...I blogged about this a while ago. Let's MOVE!!!!!

AND NOW A QUICK DCA WRAP UP!!!!!

  

  We will be seeing an HD update to Soarin' coming soon and in 2016 Soarin' Over the Horizon.  This is much needed if you ask me. It seems to be everyone's favorite but I have always been underwhelmed by the random cut scenes of California. Yeah, it smells nice and it is a good temperature but the ride never hooked me and Condor Flats has always looked cheap and doesn't scream "Desert Air Field" to me. The facade and interior of Soarin' are a total cop out.

  Blue Sky Cellar will be shutting down soon to make room for the next official announcement. Who knows when that announcement is coming but I hope quick because the Fantasy Faire exhibit is still up in there!!! They did add some stuff for the Main Street Starbucks but that is it. Same old shit that has been in there since...January? I wish that this space was better utilized by Imagineering. I am a huge WDI fan and I would love to get a peek behind those walls. A wonderful idea to keep things fresh in the BS Cellar is to display influential items from the DL past. That stuff influences current projects and that way WDI could hint to new projects they aren't quite ready to fully announce. I actually agree with you on this...

  Recently walls were added around the old MaliBoomer pad and there has been talk of another attraction added to Paradise Pier. Also many rumors about a Monstropolis miniland and a full Condor Flats 1950's retheme keep swirling in the rumor toilet. I wanna believe them all but I now know that the majority of projects never materialize. 

  So as far as the most up to date and "concrete" future projects go this was it! I think it is safe to say we are all gonna get a chance to see 90% of these rumors actually materialize! I left out a few odds and ends but with just the smallest bit of googling you can read rumors until you are ready to rip your eyeballs out. Thank you again for taking the time to read, I hope it was entertaining and I wish you all joy and peace in your life. 

                                               

                                                                                                                                    -Rossco

Thanks Ross! Always insightful! 

P.S. Halloween decorations are in full effect! I will snap some pictures when I go next. 

P.P.S. The Guest Assistance Card has or will be changing, depending on when you read this! No more abuse! It will be more like the fastpass system... Let's hope it goes smoothly!